Old White Sox Names You Never Wanted to Hear Again (Part One)
Almost 2,000 players have donned a White Sox uniform over our beloved franchise’s existence dating back to the year 1894. By my calculations, that’s A LOT! Many have done great things both on the field and for the surrounding Chicago community which has always needed role models. However, only a handful are forever immortalized with their jersey numbers hanging proudly behind home plate and down the lines, never to be worn again (other than by me crushing beers at the tailgate). This means that there’s a huge list of White Sox rejects that we will never forget for all of the wrong reasons. I’m going to release my personal list of names I hope to never hear again from the legendary Gene Honda spread over multiple blogs to save both you and me from projectile vomiting. With that being said…. enjoy!
I know what you’re all thinking. SCORCHING hot start here with Cody ASSche. My own personal nickname really says it all. This dude was literal ass. My first look at him playing for the White Sox came in Spring Training of 2016. He hit .289, got on base at a .429 clip, and was tied for second on our squad in home runs. Definitely good enough numbers to earn him a spot on our roster and get the first crack at DH. I thought maybe we had something with this guy. BUT THEN… the dude has the audacity to have an ice cold April and hit .093 with one RBI. Exactly what you want out of your DH! He only lasted partway into May before being sent to AAA where he spent all of 2018, mostly with the Mets organization.. which is classic.
Ahhhh another one of my favorites. In Spring Training 2018, our Jonnie Nonnie and I gave him and Aaron Bummer the flattering nicknames of Ass and Wipe. No one really knows which one was which but that’s besides the point. Through parts of four seasons with the South Siders he posted a lovely 5.94 ERA to go along with a 6.24 FIP. Granted we didn’t have many other options to throw in the game during the 9th inning of a blowout after trading many of our bullpen pieces, but I could still feel my stomach curl up whenever I’d see him warming up in the pen. He ended his 2018 season with our previously mentioned pal Asche in the Mets organization. Enough said.
This bum will no doubt go down as my least favorite White Sox player of all-time. Obviously, this is by no means an unpopular opinion. He was acquired along with David Robertson, Jeff Jeff Samardzija, and Melky Cabrera during the 2015 off season in which we had hopes to be competitive. LaRoche figured to be an intricate part of this success, providing a much needed left handed bat to hit behind Jose Abreu and serve primarily as the Sox DH. Some DH he turned out to be though, finishing his dreadful 2015 campaign with a .340 slugging percentage and striking out at a 27.5% rate which is well above league average. Not only did he provide terrible output on the field, he was a major clubhouse issue as well. As many of you remember, the following season he made a huge deal about his son not being able to spend every waking second with him in the clubhouse before and after games (what a nerd, go to school and hangout with your friends). Thankfully, he retired and forfeited the money that we owed him, but this was a rocky start to a 2016 season that Sox fans also had high hopes for after acquiring Todd Frazier and Brett Lawrie. The Sox never got past this distraction, finishing 2016 six games under .500 which kicked the tires for the rebuild.
That’s enough for me on this post, and we only got through THREE of these bums. I have a long list of rejects that I’ll include in future posts, but feel free to comment on who else you think deserves to be on this infamous list!