STOP FLOSSING AT SPORTING EVENTS

If you know me on Twitter, I’m that guy who ironically responds to people’s tweets when I’m excited with a gif of the “Backpack Kid” flossing. When I do it, I’m not being serious. I’m here to announce a FEDERAL EMERGENCY. Children everywhere across the country are itching at any chance to floss at a baseball, basketball, football (etc.) game whenever there’s a break in the action. The 108 guys have their gimmick by advocating against the wave. I have my gripes with flossing. Popularized with the videogame “Fortnite,” a game which jacked the “Shoot” dance from JBMoney (I’m still pissed about that, but I’ll save that for another day), the floss dance has children believing everywhere that they can cut a rug like Michael Jackson. It’s wrong. It’s despicable. It’s disheartening.

I hereby announce my advocacy to BAN FLOSSING PERMANENTLY FROM SPORTING EVENTS. We need federal regulations that escort children and their parents from the premises whenever they do so. Flossing is a worse trend than people who actually think line-dancing at weddings to the “Cupid Shuffle” is fun. It’s not. Flossing is stupid and should no longer be a part of any culture. It’s poisoning the minds of our youths.

Featured Photo: MLB.com