I’m a sharp now. I (we) finally had a winning week. Am I going to stay humble? No. Are we going to do it again?
For those keeping track at home, here are all of the My Chemical Romance songs listed in last week’s article: I’m Not Okay (I Promise), Sleep, Disenchanted, Early Sunsets Over Monroeville, Mama, Famous Last Words, The Sharpest Lives, Dead, Cancer, These Aren’t the Kids From yesterday, Vampires Will Never Hurt You, I Don’t Love You, Teenagers, Welcome to the Black Parade, This is How I Disappear, and The End.
There were 16 My Chemical Romance songs in the last article. You’re welcome. Since this was likely the only reason I was over .500 last week, I plan on doing that periodically with various bands from my high school glory days. Long live Chunky Kev!
A few things to note:
- The Titans game finally hit the over. I’m thankful for a lot of things in life, but this might be number one. I’m done with that segment. I’m an over guy again. Points are better than no points. It’s simple math.
- I’m using lines as I’m writing this. People seem to be mad about this. Please send any complaints to @Kevingrund829.
- Similar to every week, I’m aggressively stressed out over the outcome of these picks. I’m currently in the fetal position on my bathroom floor using Alexa to type out my thoughts. I’m a hot mess. Enjoy!
Tampa Bay Bucs +2.5 @ Tennessee Titans
We get a few things working in our favor here. For starters, Tampa Bay is coming off their bye week. Bruce Arians was 4-1 straight up after a bye week during his time in Arizona. Moving to the other side, here is Tennessee’s game trend so far this year: Win, Loss, Loss, Win, Loss, Loss, Win. WE FOUND A TREND! There is no arguing that Jameis Winston is a roller-coaster ride of a quarterback. He hit rock bottom last week and there is nowhere to go but up (hopefully). He should be able to utilize what could be the best wide receiver duo in the league against a Tennessee defense that gave up 8.6 yards per pass last game. The Bucs are 2-1 off of a loss against the spread this season, while the Titans are 0-2 off of a win. Let go eat some W’s.
Pick: Tampa Bay +2.5
Chicago Bears Pick of the Week:
This team stinks, but so do the Los Angeles (San Diego?) Chargers. I feel confident in Mitch having a good game that makes some Bears fans believe in him again. Am I one of them? Sadly, yes. Bears by a billion (probably six).
Pick: Bears -4
It’s Technically Still Football – Premier League Pick of the Week
If you’re a true degenerate, then you start your Saturdays at 6:00 AM with the Premier League. This week, take Chelsea. They travel to Burnley, who you’ve probably never heard of. They’re fine, currently sitting eighth overall with three wins against average competition. Chelsea is coming off of a huge Champions League win on Wednesday against Ajax. If Chelsea wants to compete for a top-four spot and stay in the Champions League, they win this game.
Disclaimer: Soccer betting is commonly a three-way bet. This means you can bet the draw. You get better odds for picking a team to win straight up, but you won’t push if they tie. Chelsea in 90 minutes.
The Pick: Chelsea money line (-127; Bet 127 to win 100)
Notre Dame +1 @ Michigan
Michigan is in shambles right now. Jim Harbaugh can’t seem to motivate this team pregame, and last week was proof of that. This team is not built to play from behind. Last year, Notre Dame went up 14-0 early and it’s not crazy to think it will happen again. Michigan couldn’t do anything on offense against Iowa at home a few weeks ago, and they have a similar fate in store for them this week. Give me Notre Dame off a bye and give Harbaugh his pink slip.
Pick: Notre Dame +1
Auburn +10.5 @ LSU
Every week, Joe Burrow continues making a case for himself as not only the Heisman favorite but also a legit first-round NFL draft pick. Against top-25 teams this year, Burrow averages 12.1 yards per attempt with an 82.5 completion percentage (including seven TDs and one INT). Then you have true freshman Bo Nix. His stats against top-25 teams are a little different: vs. Oregon 177yds/2TD/2INT; vs. Texas A&M 100yds/1TD/0INT; vs. Florida 145yds/1TD/3INT. LSU has a better offense and defense than Florida, which is the toughest opponent Nix has faced thus far. Math lesson for everyone: Florida beat Auburn by 11, LSU beat Florida by 14, LSU beats Auburn by 25. A big thanks to the transitive property and to Vegas for the free 14 points.
Pick: LSU -10.5
The Blindly Follow Me Because You’re a Degenerate Pick:
Lets get frisky with a four-team, straight-up parlay. For those new to parlays, you combine multiple bets to give yourself better odds. All of your picks need to hit or the entire bet is a loss. Four heavy home favorites, four home winners, no risk (except the risk of loss).
Pick: Ohio State, Minnesota, LSU, Oregon -115 (115 to win 100)
Featured Photo: Getty Images