As many of my friends know, I’m a “what have you done for me lately” kind of guy. That being said, we’re above .500 in our NFL bets and below .500 in our college bets. This is great news. College football is done until bowl season and I’m ready to roll on NFL picks. I’m going rogue this week and will pick every (EVERY) NFL game. Some will have insight, some will be because I want the Bears to make the playoffs, some will be purely based on my hatred for the opposing team, some will be only GIFs. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
A few things to note:
- I attach the line to the away team unless it’s an over-under. That doesn’t mean I’m picking them.
- I’m 35-32 on the year: 18-15 in the NFL, and 16-17 in college, and 1-0 in football (of the European variety).
- I’m back to being aggressively stressed out over the outcome of these picks. I’ve been floating around .500 and I know it’s either going to flip really bad or really good this week. Throwback to article numero uno: “If you follow me and I lose, you’re an idiot for following me. If you fade me and I hit, you’re an idiot for fading me. That being said, blindly follow me and let’s go win some bets.” I’m a hot mess. Enjoy!
Thursday Night Football
New York Jets +14.5 @ Baltimore Ravens
The last time the Ravens played a primetime game, they didn’t punt the ball until under five minutes left in the game. The Jets have a great run defense, but they haven’t seen anything close to what Lamar Jackson brings to the table. If they come out in the all-black uniforms, cancel the game. Ravens by a billion.
Pick: Ravens -14.5
Sunday Early Games
Chicago Bears +4.5 @ Green Bay Packers
As mentioned above, the Bears are making the playoffs. To do that, the following must happen:
Pick: Bears +4.5
Patriots -9.5 @ Bengals
If this Patriots offense can’t put up points against the Bengals (30th in Defensive DVOA), Tom Brady might kill someone. They’ve played two tough games against potential future playoff opponents. This should resemble a similar game earlier in the year when the Pats went up against the Jets and won 33-0. Expect a strong defensive game and a heavy dose Brady to James White.
Pick: Patriots -9.5
Tampa Bay Buccaneers -3.5 @ Detroit Lions
Jameis Winston has a chance to join the 30/30 club by throwing 30 touchdowns and 30 interceptions in the same season. Currently, he sits at 26 TDs and 23 INTs. Detroit gets three in this game. Only four more Jameis. YOU CAN DO IT.
Pick: Detroit +3.5
Houston +2.5 @ Tennessee Titans
I had a lot riding on Tom Brady and the Pats a few weeks ago against the Texans. Deshaun Watson had a different agenda. I no longer side with Deshaun Watson. To be honest, he wasn’t even good enough to be the first QB drafted in 2017.
Pick: Titans -2.5
Denver Broncos +10 @ Kansas City Chiefs
Pick: Denver +10
Miami Dolphins +3.5 @ New York Giants
Terrible vs. Terrible. Give me the terrible team with Saquon Barkley.
Pick: Giants -3.5
Philadelphia Eagles -6 @ Washington Redskins
Pick: Eagles -6
Seattle Seahawks -5.5 @ Panthers
Kyle Allen has fallen off the face of the earth in his last three games. Over these games, he’s 28th in yards per completion and worst in sacks per game. He can’t get rid of the ball, and when he does, it’s not going anywhere. Seattle was embarrassed last week and should bounce back versus a struggling team that has already fired its coach.
Pick: Seattle -5.5
Jacksonville Jaguars +6.5 @ Oakland Raiders
Pick: Raiders -6.5
Cleveland Browns -2.5 @ Arizona Cardinals
The Browns have lost to the following defenses: Steelers, Broncos, Patriots, 49ers, Seahawks, Rams, Titans. None of them are outside the top 20 in defensive DVOA. The Cardinals are 28th in this category. This line is simply too low.
Pick: Browns -2.5
Minnesota Vikings -2.5 @ Los Angeles Chargers
As double mentioned above, the Bears are making the playoffs. In order for that to happen, the Vikings must lose one of the next two games. I vote they lose both.
Pick: Chargers +2.5
Los Angeles Rams -1 @ Dallas Cowboys
As triple mentioned above, the Bears are making the playoffs. In order for that to happen, the Rams must lose two of the next three games. Since their last game of the year is a home game versus the Arizona Cardinals, this is a must-lose game.
Pick: Dallas Cowboys +1
Atlanta Falcons +11 @ San Francisco 49ers
Atlanta is 4-8 against the spread this season. The 49ers are 8-3-1. Water always finds its level.
Pick: Atlanta Falcons +11
Buffalo Bills @ Pittsburgh Steelers Over/Under 36.5
You didn’t think I’d go a whole article without taking an over/under, did you? This line screams under. Vegas is screaming under. What do I do when things scream at me? Run away like a coward. In this situation, running away is the over. Turnovers and defensive touchdowns everywhere. Points are better than no points.
Pick: Over 36.5
Indianapolis Colts +9 @ New Orleans Saints
In all honesty, I have zero read on this game. I’ll let the people make their own decision here.
Pick: You’re upset. Go with what you feel.
Featured Photo: Getty Images