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Breakfast Booze: Pabst Blue Ribbon’s Hard Coffee is the Way to Start Your Morning

When the weekend finally comes and the work is done, start it off right with Pabst Blue Ribbon’s Hard Coffee.

Photo: UFS Downtown Outlet Center/Facebook

Remember Loverboy’s one-hit wonder from the ’80s, “Working for the Weekend?” Well, that song still rings true for people slugging their way through a Monday-Friday job that they probably don’t like, but have to pay the bills somehow. We all spend our work weeks waiting for the weekend and when that weekend begins, let the booze flow. Why wait until noon on Saturday to crack a beer when you can start your morning off with Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee?

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t PBR a beer? Why yes it is, and boy, it is one tasty beer. So tasty in fact, that you can read all about its goodness here. However, this can of Joe doesn’t have that sweet nectar that is Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer in it. Never fear though, there is booze. Pabst uses fermented malted barley combined with real Arabica and Robusta coffee beans, milk, and vanilla.

It is truly sensational. There are a lot of people out there who don’t enjoy a good Bloody Mary. To each their own, that is a lot of tomato juice, after all. PBR Hard Coffee is the perfect substitute. With an added bonus, this bad boy will wake you up. Now, you probably shouldn’t drink it before work or anything, but we’ll mind our own business and let you decide.

The taste could be compared to that of one of those Starbuck’s energy shot coffee drinks. Now, the typical guy out there might think those aren’t masculine, but hear us out. Picture this, your girlfriend is dragging you to brunch. There isn’t a shot in hell you want to go, but are you willing to have that argument? Probably not, so you’re going to booze up and get through it.

Throw Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee on every brunch menu across America and watch guys start willingly come in with their girlfriends. You don’t have to listen to moronic conversations if you have a buzz going. $18 eggs don’t sound too bad if you’re hammered. Missing the afternoon NFL game grows more and more tolerable as your blood alcohol content rises.

Now, if you want to get really fancy, mix the PBR Coffee with some whiskey. More specifically, mix it with Screwball’s Peanut Butter Whiskey. It is every bit of phenomenal. Men, women, young people and old, everyone will enjoy this drink. It’s classy enough for boujee people too enjoy. It’s vanilla flavored coffee, so you know the basic white girls are down. Men, well there’s whiskey in it champ, so dive in.

As a society, we truly are working for the weekend. We crave that weekend booze all week at work. That jackass you can’t stand in your office, you drink in part because of him. Crawling out of the bar at 2:00 AM can be chalked up to Chad in accounting. So, when the weekend finally comes and the work is done, start it off right with Pabst Blue Ribbon’s Hard Coffee.

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Patrick is an avid Chicago sports fan. He is a Blackhawks season ticket holder. Blogging all things Bears, Blackhawks and White Sox, Chicago is well covered. Oh, and catch him talking and drinking on Four Feathers Podcast and Bears On Tap.

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