We are back for week two of the Outlandish Chicago Crime Report, so sit back, relax, and strap it down for some of the most ridiculous stuff that happened in Chicago this past week.
How long was this guy on PCP? A week? Two days? A few hours? He doesn’t have a clue. Roll an ambo, it should be an interesting ride.
Normally when you see graffiti in Chicago, it is generally some form of unrecognizable gibberish, but whoever created this masterpiece is well on his way to the Graffiti Artist of the Year humor award.
This one needs more context. Every barbershop, salon, and Sports Clips is shut down right now, so that leads me to assume that Dad was the one operating the clippers in this situation.
What? Who gets hit by a goddamn bus, gets up, and walks away? This is not only a feat of epic strength but also one of epic stupidity. Getting hit by a CTA bus is basically hitting the Lucky Day Lotto if you survive. Walking away from the scene is the last thing anyone should be doing in this situation.
A real entrepreneur this one is. Can’t imagine where he might have come up with the idea to open a zoo in the back of his pick up?
She was stone-cold sober, they were just out of those spicy chicken sandwiches again…
Not allowed on the CTA without a mask but still need to get somewhere? The only question I have is how the hell no one noticed him getting on the back of the train like this.
Maybe we’re all better off inside anyway.
Well, that rounds up this week’s most outlandish Chicago Police scanner calls. Check back next week for more ridiculousness.