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Coolest/Toughest/Weakest/Lamest Horror Movie Slashers

The On Tap Sports Net Pop Culture team have combined to share their picks for the Coolest, Toughest, Weakest, and Lamest horror movie slashers in the game
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A series of photos of horror movie slashers/monsters who are either included in the article or were considered for the article. The title says : Coolest Toughest Weakest Lamest horror/slasher edition. There are 3 rows of 5 images. Those images, from lest to right are: Row 1: Sharptooth from Land Before Time, The Tall Man from Phantasm, Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th, Candyman from The Candyman, and Leprechaun from The Leprechaun. Row 2: Pinhead from Hellraiser, Jigsaw from Saw, Leatherface from Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Chucky from Child's Play. Row 3: Ghostface from Scream, Jack Frost from Jack Frost, Michael Myers from Halloween, Angela Baker from Sleepaway Camp, and Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

There were many potential slashers considered for our list. Who do you think we left out?

The months of October and November are the perfect time of year for horror fans. Spooky movie season swings into full effect in October bringing us to a popular movie release month in November. On November 9 the movies A Nightmare on Elm Street, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Child's Play, and Child's Play 2 were all released. With so much horror action floating around we decided to put our heads together for our latest edition of Coolest/Toughest/Weakest/Lamest: Horror Slasher edition.

What does it all mean? That's the beauty of it, my cool cats and kittens, it is completely subjective and easy to argue over! We all have our definitions of cool, tough, lame, and weak and the On Tap crew is no exception. We have had these debates internally enough times that we decided to share. After all, there is no "right" answer, yeah? That said, some will be more wrong than others, so hit up the comments or reply to the tweet with who was the most out of line.

I asked everyone to give me a sentence or two explaining their picks. Some people *cough Besnik cough* wrote a tome that makes Homer's Iliad seem like a short story. Below are their picks and reasoning.

Besnik Zekiri's Picks

Besnik from On Tap Sports Net shares his reasoning for choosing The Leprechaun as his coolest movie slasher. The quote says: Everyone is going to say Jason or Michael Meyers as their answer for this one. In my opinion, The Leprechaun is unmatched in cool. In the first installment of the eight-film series, he follows the main character from Ireland back to his home in North Dakota after his pot of gold is stolen. You get your corny one-liners and an awkward Jennifer Anniston in her film debut. However, my favorite, and where I would recommend anyone new to the series should start, is Leprechaun 3. The Leprechaun is in Vegas doing Vegas things. He’s gambling, hanging out with sex robots, and terrorizing pawn shops. We all do this in Vegas, right? My favorite part is when he pretends to be a magician and does the saw someone in half “trick”. Vegas baby.

Besnik may be onto something with his pick for The Leprechaun as the coolest movie slasher.

Coolest - The Leprechaun: Everyone is going to say Jason or Michael Meyers as their answer for this one. In my opinion, The Leprechaun is unmatched in cool. In the first installment of the eight-film series, he follows the main character from Ireland back to his home in North Dakota after his pot of gold is stolen. You get your corny one-liners and an awkward Jennifer Anniston in her film debut. However, my favorite, and where I would recommend anyone new to the series should start, is Leprechaun 3. The Leprechaun is in Vegas doing Vegas things. He’s gambling, hanging out with sex robots, and terrorizing pawn shops. We all do this in Vegas, right? My favorite part is when he pretends to be a magician and does the saw someone in half “trick”. Vegas baby.
[See also: Top Moments From the Leprechaun Series]

Toughest - Leatherface: Leatherface is an absolute legend. It’s tough to defeat anyone wielding a chainsaw let alone a mentally challenged cannibal. It’s important to remember he’s not supernatural, he’s mortal. He has only his chainsaw, sledgehammer, and his strength. But his most powerful attribute is his speed.

Weakest/Lamest - Chucky: It’s without a doubt Chucky. My cousin used to love these movies and I’ve watched more of them than I care to. The doll is smaller than a child and can stalk and kill adults. Give me a break. I’d smash that lame little thing onto the green of a long par 3 with my 7 iron. I would easily terminate that thing. GTFOH.

Jonnie Nonnie's Picks

Jonnie Nonnie of On Tap Sports Net's quote on why Jigsaw is the weakest horror movie slashers. The quote says: Ah yes, James Wan’s uber-sadistic H.H. Holmes. Back in my day, horror was a hands-on business. Jigsaw, you are the weakest link of this bunch.

Nonnie doesn't pull any punches on Jigsaw here. Which is good, a punch would literally kill him.

Coolest - Freddy Krueger: Operating exclusively in dreamland but producing real-life consequences is incredibly terrifying yet badass at the same time. Add in some killer (quite literally) lines and Freddy is by far the coolest slasher.

Toughest - Michael Myers: How many goddamn times has this guy gotten shot, stabbed, or, most recently, burned alive but continued to trudge on unfazed? Supernatural Michael Myers is the best — and toughest — slasher of them all.

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Weakest - Jigsaw: Ah yes, James Wan’s uber-sadistic H.H. Holmes. Back in my day, horror was a hands-on business. Jigsaw, you are the weakest link of this bunch.

Lamest - Jason Voorhees: Some don’t mind the campiness. I do. Fight me Schwartzy.
Editors Note: Schwartzy did, in fact, fight him.
[See Also: Check Michael Myers for PEDs]

Pat Boadway's Picks

Pat Boadway from On Tap Sports Net shares his reasoning for choosing Jason Voorhees as his toughest movie slasher. The quote says: The man just doesn't freaking die and he gets absolutely destroyed in so many different ways. Plus he's a total juice-head and if it wasn't for his bad deformity, could have had a long-tenured career in the WWE.

Jason Voorhees getting the recognition he deserves as Toughest Slasher.

Coolest - Ghostface: Talk about a guy who knows his cinema. If it wasn't for the brutal murdering, fear-mongering, and straight-up insanity, Ghostface is a guy I could TOTALLY have a beer with and talk horror flicks. What's your favorite scary movie? Whichever one keeps me alive to star in the sequel bro.

Toughest - Jason Vorhees: The man just doesn't freaking die and he gets absolutely destroyed in so many different ways. Plus he's a total juice-head and if it wasn't for his bad deformity, could have had a long-tenured career in the WWE.

Weakest - Freddy Kreuger: If stalking people in their dreams where they have little defense wasn't completely terrifying, I would hate Freddy. But honestly, he has to target his victims where their weaknesses lie and his strengths strive. C'mon bro, do you even lift? When Freddy fought Jason, he had no physical chance. Jason's a roided-out juice monster and Freddy's a pedo burn victim who wears a Christmas sweater year round.

Lamest - Michael Myers: I'll die on the hill that is "Michael Myers is the best killer and Halloween is the best slasher series" but to be honest, the guy chose a bleached William Shatner face to hide his own and can't upgrade his wardrobe from the mechanic's jumpsuit. I know you're a killer Michael and fashion doesn't exactly matter to you, but for the sake of all that is holy, read an issue of Vogue.

Schwartzy's Picks

Schwartzy from On Tap Sports Net shares his reasoning for choosing Pennywise as his lamest movie slasher. The quote reads: This one pains me so, but you've got to call it like it is. Pennywise is no killer or slasher, he's a damn foodie. The Dancing Clown is one of the strongest, oldest beings in all horror moviedom. And yet, rather than wreak havoc on Derry, ME, and the world he terrifies his victims to get them tasting juuuuuust right. It's sick and diabolical for sure, but an omnipotent, multiversal threat needs to bring more to the table. He scores what, 5-6 kills every 27 years? Those numbers are almost as bad as Michael Myers' in Halloween Ends. Almost.

I had to choose the 2017 version of Pennywise because I refuse to besmirch Tim Curry in any way, shape, or form. 

Coolest - Chucky: This pick came down to Chucky and Leprechaun. In the end, Chucky's sustained coolness and stellar turn on TV helped him win out for me. He's always maintained elite kill skills combined with world-class one-liners. He's also the most inclusive killer, in both his victims and accepting others for who they are. Too many people checked out after 2004's Seed of Chucky and have missed out on some bangers in Curse of Chucky, Cult of Chucky, and the Syfy/USA Network show Chucky. Devon Sawa may hate me for it, but facts don't care about your feelings.

Toughest - Jason Voorhees: If you've followed On Tap Sports Net's pop culture channel at all over the years there is one rock-solid fact you know: I love Jason Voorhees. I've put out numerous articles arguing for his kill skills and #slashermetrics. Seriously, Nonnie hates it. He has the stature to support the title of toughest, and the resume to back it up.
[See also: Jason Voorhees Top 5 Kills]

Weakest - Jigsaw: As Nonnie also pointed out, Jigsaw is just not cut out for the horror game. He's got the brain for it, but his body has betrayed him. Maybe this stance will change after the upcoming 10th installment of Saw, but I highly doubt it.

Lamest - Pennywise: This one pains me so, but you've got to call it like it is. Pennywise is no killer or slasher, he's a damn foodie. The Dancing Clown is one of the strongest, oldest beings in all horror moviedom. And yet, rather than wreak havoc on Derry, ME, and the world he terrifies his victims to get them tasting juuuuuust right. It's sick and diabolical for sure, but an omnipotent, multiversal threat needs to bring more to the table. He scores what, 5-6 kills every 27 years? Those numbers are almost as bad as Michael Myers' in Halloween Ends. Almost.

So, who's list do you think is the best? More importantly, who's list was the worst?!? Let us know and stay tuned to On Tap Sports Net pop culture for more fun group projects and collaborations.